My Archives: September 2003
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Help me. My throat hurts so badly. The more I speak, the more it hurts. I tried gargling with salt, drinking liquids... I don't want to be sick. This is the worst time for it since this is the week where the first tests starts. Eck. And I have to go to my stupid design class later on today. I wish I can drop it but I can't. My whole family has caught the flu virus. I mean, first my two sisters had it, then my mom caught it, then it's my turn. Pretty soon my dad will have it. Ah.. it hurts.
I finally found a topic for my mass media criticism class. It will be about why gay characters are the fad now. I mean, show a gay character on any TV show and the networks think they'll get ratings. It's so very commercialized and it's getting to the point that it's annoying and cliche. A couple of years back, being gay on TV was very controvercial. When Ellen decided to come out on her TV show, everyone was pleased to see that the subject of homosexuality isn't really taboo anymore. Unfortunately, Ellen's show got cancelled but it was still an important issue to explore. I'm pretty sure that back then, Ellen did not focus on ratings (although obviously it is important) when she decided to tell everyone she was gay but now because of the popularity of shows like Will and Grace, every show nowadays has a gay character just to show that yeah, "we have a gay guy on the show and now we think we're funny". All these shows want to be popular. They're using homosexuality now as some "product" because if they use this product, they think they'll get viewers. Do you know what I mean? Homosexuality isn't even an issue anymore. It's sensationalism and they made it a fad to be gay.
About two years ago, with the popularity of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and "The Weakest Link" every damn network copied each other. There were games shows everywhere that were just like The Weakest Link and Millionaire and it became a fad. Networks give you so much of it, that soon it will be watered down, and it will be gone and a new fad comes along. Homosexuality and those Reality shows are the fads now. But will the networks overdo it and just show you more and more of it, that it will have the same fate as those game shows before them? What will the next "fad" in television now?
When ER, Friends and Ally McBeal were in the height of their popularity EVERYONE copied them too. Those medical, legal, and "friends" type of shows were everywhere... they were fads as well. It's really sad to see homosexuality turn out to be a "fad" like that because the issue is STILL very controvercial and there are so many people with so many different views about it and it's really sad to see how television is overusing that theme to make money and get ratings. It's one of the reasons why I hate TV. They overuse themes. No one is original anymore.
Ok, that's all I have to say about that. The paper has to be a minimum of 15 pages... but since it's such a broad topic to criticize about, I think it will be more than 15 pages for me. If you think about it, if you really care about a topic so much and have such strong feelings for it you have to keep writing and writing.
Posted by Cindy @ 01:43 AM CST [Link] [4 comments]
Saturday, September 20, 2003
I spent half of my afternoon asleep so that's why I'm still up at this hour and I've been out doing various things. Maybe when I finally get some sleep again I'll go swimming at the YMCA or something. I wished my aunt decided to build a pool again just like her old house so I can swim over there instead. I need to seriously get myself in shape. I'm really not that happy with myself at all. I guess I'm just lazy. Is 120 pounds on a 5'4" frame fat? Well, if it's not, I still feel fat and that's not a good thing.
I realized also that whenever I write in here, I always mention that I'm sleepy, well starting now, I'm not going to mention it anymore. So what else am I supposed to say? #1 Superstar is getting there. We just did our Top 20 Bishounen. It took quite awhile to come up with 20 since I don't really watch anime anymore so I'm forgetting characters but I think what we have is just fine. So now, I'm working on wallpapers and we're going to do a massive image gallery... I can't wait to scan all those artbooks (oh yay... happy, happy joy joy). Dumb and dumber was on again today, damn it. We should have used that as a Yume layout when we had the chance. That movie is so funny. We wanted to do Winnie the Pooh, Curious George, and The Gummy Bears. Curious George would have been so funny because everytime we would end a review, we would write, "Said the Man with the yellow hat..." It would be annoying as hell. Damn. I loved those shows. Pera, you wouldn't mind us giving you our weirdo ideas for layouts? hehe... but you always need to make it have a black background right? That's going to be hard. Hmm...
So I wrote this original story about four years ago titled "27" about 4 guys in a band and how they were named after their music heros that died at age of 27. If any of you are music geeks like I am, you would notice that 27 is some kind of a magic number for muscians to die. It's true. Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin all died at the age of 27. And so my concept was, that these four guys in honor of their idols, will also end their careers at the age of 27. It is posted in Fictionpress and I put it up in FF.NET about 2 years ago I think and it's kinda cool that people are still making comments about it and still reading it for some odd reason. I didn't like the way I wrote that story. I had waaay too much dialog and not really much of anything else. I wish I can re-write it again but I am completely clueless about how to continue it and yet I'm not at the same time. Does that make sense? And I am writing another story that is an off shoot of 27 which will be another off shoot of another story but it will all be related to 27 somehow. I want to write this long ass story with a whole bunch of people all related to each other in some way or another. But still, I NEED motivation. I have the beginning and the ending but the middle is so damn hard. Errr. Anyway, I don't even know why I rambled on about that. I just need to get it out. Maybe I'll write bits and pieces here so I know where I'm going with it. I wished I can talk to my old creative writing proffesor about it. I need some advice. Eck. Why can't I write anymore????
Posted by Cindy @ 04:09 AM CST [Link] [2 comments]
Thursday, September 18, 2003
I skipped my design class today. You wouldn't believe how I really hate that class. I sit next to this girl who is completely computer illiterate and asks me questions every 2 seconds and I can't stand it anymore. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. And it's extremely annoying when my professor talks about things that I already know and he makes it incredibly difficult. I don't know. I need to go to my Anthro class tomorrow just to see what will be on the test on Tues. but before that, we have to watch this movie which I've already seen. So what's the point of going. He even said that he doesn't give out study guides. Eh... I am so exhausted.
I need to do my last review but the site is so big. I guess I'll do it tomorrow. *sigh... it's almost October. We had so many layout ideas too. Old School Nickelodeon layouts like that show Salut your shorts, Dumb and Dumber, Inuyasha, Hikaru no Go, our annual KareKano layout. Oh well. It would have been nice.
It was also my Dad's birthday yesterday. I completely forgot until my mom reminded me. I'm bad. I don't even know what day it is anymore because I feel like a machine most of the time with nothing but school/work/sleep every damn day.
Anyway, my friend wants me to go to the Bahamas with her in Jan. but I don't really want to. She's like "Since you're graduating and all, go there and relax" First of all, I have to lose weight in order to look nice in a swimsuit. Second of all, I really want to go backpacking in Europe somewhere... Third, I don't really want to go to the Bahamas in January. Maybe around Spring time or something. Fourth, after spending all my money on Books and Tuition, I am again a poor college student who asks her parents for money which is rather sad. Eh. What can I do. I sort of want to go at the same time though but I really want to go to Europe. Anyway... Jennifer and I still have this inside joke about going toVancouver before I quit. We were discussing it while we were bored the other day. Haha. I sort of want to go anyway. I haven't been to Canada so I want to see that country. Everytime I think of Canada I think of Maple leaves and Grizzly Bears and snow.
And... I am finally done reading East of Eden. I really like reading that book. The characters are all very interesting. Lee, Caleb, Abra, and Samuel. Ahh.. how fascinating. It's set in Salinas. You can totally tell that Steinbeck has a love for Salinas and describes it in a very visual and beautiful way considering that Salinas in present time isn't so very beautiful anymore (as so my friend says). But it is a very good book. Ahhh... I need to sleep. I am soooo sleepy.
Posted by Cindy @ 12:31 AM CST [Link] [1 Comment]
Monday, September 15, 2003
I thank Maureen for making this layout.. because we all know I suck with blog layouts. I really wonder why my dog is pissing me off. He just stands there waiting for me and when I move towards him he's there to make trouble. He's like a little boy. *sigh.
We went to the bookstore earlier and bought books. The first Hana Yori Dango in English (it's kinda weird reading it since I've read the translations like 2 years ago), Ender's Game (which everyone says is one damn great book. Even the cashier was like 'This is a great book' --> I knew he was going to say something), the Picture of Dorain Gray (i've always wanted to read it so I may as well now) and Night by Elie Wiesel. Of course I'm still reading East of Eden. I can't seem to put that book down. It's really good. I have about 200 pages to go though. So hard to read something when you're doing homework too. Not that I have much homework yet. All I really have to do lately is to start speaking properly for my broadcasting class and do some HTML work for my design class which I haven't been doing because I am lazy and of course read pages upon pages of chapters from various other classes. Eh... there needs to be pills or something to stop people from being so damn lazy.
I saw R.E.M. on Thursday. It was great. Though we got the cheap seats, we were surprisingly close and we were facing the stage. If I would have gotten the more expensive ones we would have ended up closer but on the side. So yeah, our seats were great and R.E.M. played for like 2 hours. They'll always be cool though everyone thinks they're old now. Did you know though they were a new band, their album was voted the best by Rolling Stone Magazine over Michael Jackson's gazillion selling Thriller album that was released the same year? I thought that was rather interesting, not that you care but still, at least Rolling Stone knows that they're a band that can stand the test of time.
Hmm... I have to work tomorrow. But since I don't have to close I think I can get an Early Out. After being off for several days, it's hard to get back to working again. I don't really like to work when it's not busy because you get bored so easily but I don't like it being busy either because you get irate customers. Eh.. what can you do? You can't win at everything or rather, I can't win.
Well, I better sleep now. I have class tomorrow. Media critiscism. How fun *yeah right. But at least it's interesting.
Posted by Cindy @ 12:45 AM CST [Link] [No Comments]
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
I had such a full day today although I took a few naps in between. Anthro is still pretty boring but at least he tries to make it interesting. Broadcasting class was nice. He really knows how to get your attention and gives you confidence... still, it's pretty scary to be up there. I don't know. It's like he pumps you up then when you're there it all shatters but at least I'm getting better at it. I have this paper do for design class that is still unfinished and it's due tomorrow. Or rather later today. I have to provide sketches too. Gah, I still didn't even bother to do my University webpage because I don't like using dreamweaver. You're so used to doing it by hand that it seems strange to use Dreamweaver. Anyway, I did get that new domain. Hehe... I like the pictures used for it.
Anyway, I have to start doing that assignment now. Gosh, I totally love the BECK manga. It's really cool. I love the facial expressions. I guess it needs to be Yume's 2nd to the last. *shrugs
Posted by Cindy @ 01:19 AM CST [Link] [No Comments]
Saturday, September 6, 2003
MSN is annoying. It keeps logging me off MSN messenger. I need to get a cable modem I swear to god.
I'm going to get a new domain. I'm gonna leave F-R as it is. Just a purely anime domain and the other will be the personal sites with movie reviews and what not. There are many other places with that stuff but this one will be Me... Writing, rambling, things I hold back sometimes because I have such insecurities about them. Although, I am not an insecure person I am somewhat private about things. I don't really know. Sometimes I hate myself for it. Sometimes I hate myself for not being more forward. It really sucks. Maybe it was my upbringing. I'm from a small town. Small town people aren't usually outspoken and robust. They're more laid back and go with the flow. That is me. I don't really care anymore. But lately this other part of me has been taking over. Sometimes I really just don't care anymore. My friend Andrea probably tainted me with her "Go Get 'Em" attitude. She's very blunt and tough. Jennifer's like that too except she's more loud. Jennifer's just loud plain and simple. I wish I can be like that sometimes. Whenever people hear a rude remark from me, they're like "I can't believe you said that" but I really just don't care. Customers are just awful. AWFUL. I'm pretty sure ALL of them know what it's like behind a counter, yet here they are being just plain unbelievable. To repeat myself, I just don't care.
My PR class seems very uncomfortable but I need to ask my professor if he knows any companies that are looking for interns. I wished I lived in Cali. There are so many advertising/PR companies that I would like to work for. Chicago too. I would love it if I were in Chicago right now. I would love anything that is not near Las Vegas. I had so much fun when I was in AZ. I met friends there that were real and were happy. They sang outloud to the music they were listening to in their cars, they were always there to talk to, they were "free" and didn't care what others thought of them. I like that in people. But here, people always watch what they say and what they do and what they wear. I loathe people like that because those people are not real. They don't want to be different. But what good is it when you are like everyone else? A long time ago, I wanted to be like all of them because I hated being different but now I want to be. Did that make sense at all? Why do people die their hair when it's meant to be black or when it's meant to be brown? Why do people get colored contacts when your eyes are meant to be that color God or your genetics (whatever your belief is) intended for you. Why do people go to lengths to not be them? I hate that. I think of that as materialism and people here are all like that. My friend used to be different. She had a personality then. And then she became materialistic and all she cared about was how to look good and she just didn't seem real anymore. I lost contact with her when she got fired for being late all the time but whenever I would see her, it's not the same anymore. I don't get it. Why do material things always change people? I hope that will never happen to me ever.
Posted by Cindy @ 02:26 AM CST [Link] [No Comments]
Thursday, September 4, 2003
I need to change this layout soon. It's going to correspond to Anna's blog layout and if Maureen changes her blog, hopefully it will correspond to hers too. Hehe, I think it will look interesting when we're done.
I've been having these really weird dreams lately. I don't know how to describe it exactly because everytime I come close to a good part I always wake up or someone wakes me up. Don't you hate when that happens. I just remember being happy. Whenever I wake up, I'm happy. I'm smiling. There's this feeling inside me that's full of just happiness. Why do I dream of such things when reality just shatters it? Those dreams are comforting though when you feel down most of the time and tired and sometimes even helpless.
The customers at work are really getting on my nerves. Why do people leave their common sense at home when they go on vacation to Vegas? Is it so hard for them to think for themselves? I've been rude I think. Pretty soon, I won't be surprised if Andrea and I get written up for being smart asses in front of the customers. I mean, you have to have some attitude for those customers who are just so stubborn. I mean, if you're on vacation and in another city and in another country, isn't it common sense to bring your ID with you everywhere you go? I mean, who knows what may happen. You're ID, Your passport, that is your life right there and people that vacation here don't even bring it with them. They leave it in their hotel room, lock it up in a safe and when you ask them for ID they get mad because ID's aren't important. EXCUSE ME? And their excuse "Well, in England they don't ask for it"... Hello? You are not in England, buddy. You are in VEGAS! You better bring your ID with you. Well, if they win the big jackpot from one of those gambling tables, they surely won't get it without an ID.
I can't believe people are so stupid and not bring their identification with them. I hate myself for being rude to them because I am a nice person but people need to get a clue.Anyway, I'm out. I have school, I have work, MSN keeps loggin me out, and I need to take a shower. I guess, I'll do it in the morning. I'm about ready to pass out.
Posted by Cindy @ 01:58 AM CST [Link] [1 Comment]
Monday, September 1, 2003
Ah! I can't believe my site is finally up. AHHHH... So happy!
School started on the 25th of course. Classes are hard. I have a performance Radio and TV broadcasting class where your whole grade is based upon how you perform in front of people. Well, I'm really sort of nervous about it. Eck. I mean, I've been in front of people before but it just makes me nervous to be up there and loose all track of thinking. Well, so we're going to be broadcasting on TV and DJing on the radio and I wonder what it's like to hear my own voice on the air. I don't think that's a good thing considering my singing voice is plain awful. *sigh... i wanted to change the class but because of the times of those classes I can't find any alternative. Oh well. He did say that if you are shy in the beginning of the class, you'll change once the class is done. I guess I need it to gain confindence in myself speaking in front of people. Some people can do it so easily but I can't.
I saw that American Pie guy Chris Klein at work. He was there to watch Huey Lewis who had a concert in our hotel. He and his friend were supposed to go alone but then these girls decide to be tag alongs and so instead of two there were six of them and Chris did not want to pay for those two girls.. he made that clear. It was too funny because those girls got dissed from the very beginning and they still ignored the fact that he was totally dissing them. Get a clue ladies. So Chris and his friend pay for the two tickets and then they're like "Well I'm going to the show ladies, I'll see you later"... hahaha. And then the four girls buy their own ticket and their credit card declined. In front of Chris and his friend. Hahaha. So not ONLY did they get dissed, they got embarrased. Well, serves them right for thinking that just because he was a movie star they think that if they dressed up and look "Pretty" they can get somewhere with him. But they were wrong. Chris Klein was smart. I would totally do the same thing. You just had to be there I guess. It was too funny.
Posted by Cindy @ 11:44 AM CST [Link] [No Comments]